Why Men are Happier than Women

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Our last name stays put. The garage is all ours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. We can be President. We can never be pregnant. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. We can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell us the truth. The world is our urinal. We never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at our chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. We know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. We can open all your own jars. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be our friend.

My underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough for me.

We almost never have strap problems in public. I am unable to see wrinkles in my clothes.. Everything on my face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. We only have to shave our face and neck.
We can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. We can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. We can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache, providing our wives let us.

I can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder we men are happier.