This day I found 29 things to smile about:
1a.. Hillary isn't president!
1b.. My ex-Wife and I divorced over religious differences.
She thought she was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot - - Some parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; he made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18.. Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a
pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have,
especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
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8 comments:
Yes, quite right. And I do.
I think number 2 is written just for me.
Excellent Mr Tarf!!
RB- 16 and 27 are my two favorites. They apply to me.
Mutley- Have a great weekend. Remember me when you are drinking Old #6 at your local. I will do the same with a rum and coke for you.
Number 23 should be written in stone and included in the sadly outdated current wedding vow.
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
Old Tarf, you are so funny!!
Hello Tarfers: At present I can't find much to smile about, now that the inept British PM and his cohorts have managed to deplete our life savings and investments, carefully, saved for our well earned retirement.
Hope things are better for you and Ginny on the other side of 'The Pond'.
Di.xx
Bollix- be careful of what you wish for.
Enmak- I have been called many things. Funny is one of the nicer ::))
Trubes-We had a lot more safe guards in our system here it seems. I am sorry things are a little lop sided for you both at this time.
Still isn't helping the Condo sale though.
Damn too many to choose from, 2, 6 or 10 - nope the choice is too hard, and they all apply equally well.
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